I'd Like To Buy A Vowel

I like to think that I am a clean person. Okay, so I'm really an unnaturally clean person. I make it a point to always keep a clean house. Not only does this include the daily straightening, picking up, wiping off, dusting, rearranging, scenting, loading/unloading, and organizing of most items in my home, but it also includes the once a week, top to bottom cleaning sessions. I wouldn't say I'm a germ-a-phobe per se, but I'm definitely cleaner than most. This neuroticism stems from my mother, who learned the fine art of cleanliness from her father, and so on and so forth. Some call it a sickness, and perhaps it is. Now, why am I blogging on such a subject? I'll tell you why. I have come to the conclusion that perhaps, with all my good intentions, I have done a disservice to my family. Why, you might ask? Let me give you the low down on the last four months of our lives, and then you see if you can figure out why.

November 7th...Mom becomes severely ill with symptoms of body aches, fevers, dizziness, and horrific headaches. 2 trips to the InstaCare, 1 trip to McKayDee, and a wonderful, all inclusive 1 week stay at IMC, all pointed to viral meningitis. The time leading up to and during my hospital visits, was two weeks. The recovery from this illness...still ongoing. The headaches plague me daily. Some days are better than others. At the first of February, I felt like many of my symptoms were reoccurring. So, back to the ever-so-helpful Neurologist for some more not-so-helpful advice. Yes, the meds they had me on from my hospital stay should still be taken. No, I never should have stopped taking them. Yes, this is the reason for the terrible headaches. Yes, they failed to MENTION that I should stay on these meds. And yes, because of their stupidity, I would now be dealing with a whole other problem. Post Meningitic Psuedo Tumor was the Neurologists best guess. But he doesn't really know. Best case scenario, I take meds the rest of my life. Worst case, I go blind. Just like that. So, we schedule an appointment with an Neuropthamologist. Of course they can get us right in...in mid March. No rush people. We're only talking about my eye sight here. Week two of February, Izzy starts vomiting one night. Scott doesn't do vomit very well, so Mommy takes over. My baby girl has high fevers, chills, body aches, and is in pretty bad shape. So, we take her to the Dr. It's Strepp. Sweet. Highly contagious. Next up...Jace! Jace starts with a runny nose which quickly escalates into a terrible smokers cough. He wheezes when he breaths. His breathing is labored and rapid. A trip to the InstaCare tells us that we need to get him to Primary Children's. Awesome. We get to stay overnight in RTU in the same room we stayed in when Jacers was 28 days old and at the hospital with Parainfluenza. The memories aren't so great. Test results are positive for RSV. No spinal tap or cath this time around. Just a giant tube that feeds through his nose and down into his lungs to suction out bucket loads of snot. Ya. He loved that. The next day we get to come home, but Jace has strict orders to be on oxygen. My 8 month old baby has an oxygen tube taped all around his face because he keeps trying to pull it off. Three nights of oxygen and a visit back to our primary care Dr, and we are finally in the clear. Or so we thought. My headaches are just about unbearable now. We call the Neurologist and ask if he can call in a Lumbar Puncture to check my spinal pressures. Now people, you have to know that for me to ASK for one of these baby's TELLS you I'm in pain. We head to LDS, set up for the tap, and wouldn't you know it, the pressure is normal. Awesome. Now what? Well, we wait until mid March to see the Neuropthamologist I guess. I'm down for a couple days after this because for some reason it has made my headaches quadruple in pain. Sunday night I finally join the land of the living. Can we catch a break now? Nope. Not yet! Izzy says her stomach hurts. Her stomach always hurts. I'm not too concerned until I hear the dreaded gag/cough followed by Scott frantically carrying her into the bathroom to finish what she's already started in the bedroom. I'll never look at ribs and potatoes the same after cleaning up that mess. I was literally scooping up the mess from off of her comforter and carrying it to the toilet. The barf juices saturated the comforter, the sheets, and the mattress. Sweet. How do we get the smell of vomit off of the mattress? I scrubbed it for a half hour, then I had to lay down. I was getting queasy myself. Scott, who again does not to well with throw up, sleeps down on the couch, and Izzy joins me in my bed with her barf bowl. 17 throw up sessions and one completely sleepless night later, the vomiting stops. But, she is very lethargic and won't eat anything. Tuesday early evening Scott starts throwing up. Tuesday late night, I go in to answer Jaces cries to find him covered from head to toe in baby barf...I swear he rolled all over in it. Strip the crib, run the tub, more throw up, and he goes back down for the night. I'm doomed. I know it. Destined to be next in the vicious virus that has attacked our house. And sure enough, Wednesday at about 4 in the morning, I start up the trend. Four sick people. No one to take care of us. We were in bad shape. Luckily, Scott is feeling a bit better at this point. He stays home Wednesday to rest and help with Iz and Jace. Thursday (today) we are still having no luck getting Jace to keep anything down. He hasn't had a wet diaper since Tuesday night. He vomits up anything we give him. We call the Dr. Guess what? They want us to take him to Primary's. No, I'm not kidding. I. Am. Not. Kidding. I wish I was kidding. So, high ho, high ho, back up the hill we go. We're on a first name basis with the staff now. We're pretty much regulars. Jace is checked in with severe dehydration, critically low levels of sugar, and hypoglycemia. Awesome. Here we are again. RTU. Not in the same room...thankfully. Poor Jace is so lethargic. He just lays there. No smiles. No talking. No nothing. I just want my family better!!! I leave to take Iz home, who, on a side note, is still not feeling that well. Scott stays with Jace in the hopes that he will make a quick turn around and be able to come home. Scott and I phone each other all day. Jace has eaten an ounce of formula. We have a wet diaper. He just smiled. Things were looking up. At 9:30 p.m. Scott calls to tell me they are coming home. Hallelujah! I'm afraid to even say, 'what's next?' because I know that inevitably something else is bound to hit us. It's just our luck lately. But at least for this small moment we are all home together and all feeling pretty good. Tomorrow? Who knows.

So, back to the cleanliness bit from the beginning of this blog. I have come to the firm conclusion that if I just let my kids lick the slides, pick their noses, and bathe once a week; if I let my home become cluttered, germ filled, and dirty; and if I refuse to keep up on immunizations and medications; then perhaps my children and I will be better off. Maybe I really have ruined them by not letting them get near germs. Maybe. Probably not. No, I realize that this is not the case. I realize that this is just one of the trials my family has to pass through. We seem to have been hit pretty hard lately. Scott and I are convinced that we are being tried like Job, only just strictly with health related issues. I find it easy to get discouraged and down. I know the Lord must have a purpose for these trials. I know there is something we are to learn from them. It's probably patience in afflictions. And I SUCK at patience. But my little brother told me the other day that in our trials lie opportunities. Opportunities for progress, happiness, and spiritual growth. I think this means that I have the opportunity to rely more fully on the Lord and trust that He knows all things. I have the opportunity to draw near to Him and to plead for His grace and mercy. And that as I do these things, I will have the opportunity to be happier in my life. And that's what it's all about.

So, I guess I won't quit the house cleaning obsession just yet.