Happy Halloween!

Halloween is one of my most favoritest times of the year! I love the decorations, the dressing up, the crisp fall air, and well, the candy! This year, Izzy chose to go as Princess Jasmine. Aunt Jan saved the day with a perfect (and modest) Jasmine costume. I went online to get some quick Princess Jasmine makeup and hair tips. Izzy critiqued and primped until everything looked just perfect. Little diva:) Bones dressed appropriately as Abu, Princess Jasmine's sidekick. He made the cutest, chubby faced monkey you've ever seen! I couldn't get over him chasing his tail:) Scott spent HOURS finding the perfect Handy Mandy costume for his disguise this year. He even went so far as to have a special hat and shirt made. The bummer of the costume was, that not a lot of people were familiar with the show, and thus not familiar with the costume. Oh well, we 'got it.' Scott and I got to go out trick-or-treating this year with both kids, which was fun. What was NOT fun however, was the torrential downpour that sent us running for home after only visiting a few homes. Lucky for us, the kids aren't into trekking miles and miles for candy. And really, grandma spoils them with enough treats to last for months. All in all, another Halloween for the books!

Tradition, tradition! Tradition!

I started singing like Tevye when typing the title to this post. Good old Fiddler On The Roof! This post has nothing however to do with the song, and everything to do with the words. Tradition! Traditions run deep and steady in our home and are an important part of who we are. Too, they give us wonderful things to look forward to in our otherwise mundane lives:) Fall provides an excellent setting for many of our family's traditions. And I wanted to share them with you. Enjoy!

The annual Kentucky Fried Rat Fest is one tradition that is bound to stay around for years to come. We can no longer fit on our 'hidden high spot' in the mountains; Nor is it very safe for the youngest members of our clan. So we have graduated, or migrated rather, to one of the many campsite spaces at Mueller Park. The kids think this is pure heaven, and even I, with all my camping phobias, love this tradition. The campfire gets made, the food gets eaten, smores are cooked to perfection, and the kids can run, scream, and play at will. We all love the mountain air and beautiful scenery that surrounds us. Dad usually has a bit of wisdom to share, mom a few tears to shed (when contemplating the blessing of her children and grandchildren), and the siblings typically have plenty of sarcasm to last the whole night through. It's as close to perfection as it gets! Gotta love family!

Another tradition of ours is going to the pumpkin patch with the kids each year to pick out the best pumpkins for carving. It could be such a great photo op too! But no one wants to hold still with all the festive Halloween decorations everywhere! Really, the kids just like running around, chasing each other and climbing on everything. They couldn't care less about the pumpkins or pictures. However, we are hopeful that one day, they will learn the true art of choosing that 'perfect pumpkin.' For now, we're just happy that they are happy!

Grandma Lisa started, what we hope will be, a new Halloween tradition. She actually did this with Gabe and Izzy last year, but invited all the grand kids to join in the festivities this year. She spent HOURS online finding the most fun, creative foods for the kids to build and eat for Halloween. There were witch hats, made from cookies and kisses; mummies, made from hot dogs and crescent rolls; spiders made with marshmallows and licorice; bloody fingers made from string cheese, almond pieces and ketchup; ghosts made from peanut butter cookies and white frosting; scary mouths made of apples with sharp almond teeth; and dirty worms made from Oreo pieces and gummy worms. The kids didn't seem to mind the atrocious concoctions of food coloring, nor the mismatched dinner choices. They had a BLAST!!! And everyone ate until they were sick. We love our fall traditions!

It's Just Another Manic....Sunday?

This last Sunday started off the same as any other Sunday, well except for the time change. We went to nine o'clock church at the first of the year...SOOOOO much better than one o'clock! Anyway, upon getting to church, Jace and I went into nursery together, Izzy went off to CTR's and Scott headed in to teach his lesson. Just as Jace and I were making some major headway with the four piece puzzle in front of us, Scott came bursting through the door, ranting about some VIP from the church that was coming to Sacrament meeting and demanding to know what songs we were singing so that Brother Moriyama could type up the program. Was he serious? First of all, the VIP was probably a nice Brother from the Second Quorum of the Seventies...and not that this is not a big deal, but relax! Program or not, the show would go on! And secondly, I have no idea what songs I picked. That was two weeks ago. They cannot possible expect me to remember that far back in my life. I have trouble remembering two hours ago! So, I had to run home to look up the music on my computer. As soon as I got back, Scott left again. Not more than three minutes later, Jace pooped his pants. Nice. Did I have a diaper with me? Of course not. So, I picked up Jace and headed out to find Scott and the car keys. He was sitting, eavesdropping really, next to the bishops office, pretending to be going over his lesson for Sunday School. No new news on the VIP, he explained. Great! I don't care. I've got poop here and no diaper to change it. Grabbing the keys, Jace and I now set off for the car. By some miracle, I happened to have one diaper in the glove compartment, but no baby wipes. Antibacterial wipes would work, right? Sure! Diaper changed, and back into nursery for coloring time. Five minutes later, Scott was back. What now? Oh nothing to big....just the announcement that Elder Eyring would be the VIP joining us in Sacrament meeting! What?!? He's totally one of my favorites...if we're allowed to have favorites. His speaking abilities are amazing. And he's coming to our Sacrament...and I'm leading the music. I. Am. Leading. The. Music! I'm going to be within arms length of an apostle of the Lord...the first counselor to the President of the Church. I think to I'm going to be sick. Play time in nursery drags by. Should I leave early? I've got to get the number tiles put up for the songs. I need to make sure my hymn book is marked accordingly. I need to fix my hair. (Deep breath) I need to chill out. Singing time and snack time come and go, and Jace and I leave in search of Izzy. We all head to the chapel together to meet Scott. Only Scott is not there. I can't take my two kids on the stand. What if Elder Eyring comes in to find Jace crawling all over the chairs and Izzy hiding under the piano? That'd be real slick! And what's even better, I don't have the song numbers! I know, I know. I went home to get them. But I didn't write them down for me, I wrote them down and gave them to Brother Moriyama! And there is not a program to be found. Lovely. Here comes Scott. I rush up to him to ask if he can get the numbers. Sacrament is about to start. He runs out to find the list, and sweet Hannah Green from the ward comes to sit with my kids while I get things ready on the stand. I've just finished putting the numbers up when a hush falls over the congregation. I turn around to find everyone standing silently, watching Brother Eyring and his wife enter the chapel. It. Was. AWESOME! Talk about feeling the Spirit hit you head on. Wow. The meeting started, I sweat through the songs wondering if I'd picked the right hymns for an apostle of the Lord, the Sisters that spoke were amazing, and then suddenly Elder Eyring was there...standing at our pulpit. He's much taller in real life than he appears on t.v. But his voice is the same, and immediately I'm pulled under the spell of his words. He told us how if President Monson were present, he would have said 'amen' to each word sung and thoughts shared that day. He said that the meeting he'd just sat through was one of the better Sacrament meetings he'd ever attended and that the Spirit had taught us well. He then went on to say that whomever had picked the music for the day had been truly inspired! That was me! Many people turned to look in my direction. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He told of the hectic morning he'd had because of a 'situation' that he was put over. He explained that there were planes involved that didn't get to the right places and pilots that didn't show up. He said that it seemed people were undermining his authority and that he was frustrated that things were not going as planned. And then, just as he's gotten ready to come into the meeting, a call from Elder Packer had assured him that all was right, that the problem was resolved. Elder Eyring chuckled and said, "I just had to remind myself, once again, that I am not in charge. The Lord is in charge. And His will, will be done.' I couldn't believe it. Here was this man, as perfect as a man can get, admitting to all of us that he still has to remind himself sometimes that he is not in charge; that the Lord sees the bigger picture. That was an awesome moment. He went on to talk about missionary work and the importance of serving. He told the YM that 'of course you want to serve. Why wouldn't you want to enter into a two year relationship with your Father in Heaven? It will be the best experience of you life!' He talked about the miracle of calling two of his granddaughters to a mission and that he knew, without a doubt, that they'd each been called to their perspective areas for a reason. One of his granddaugthers had gotten very sick on her mission and was going to have to go home. However, it just so happened that her mission president was in direct contact with the only man in the world who had knowledge on the specific disease and who had studied it directly. Because of this, she would get to finish her mission. He then went on to say that he knew he was supposed to be in our meeting house, in our ward, on that Sunday. He explained that he'd been given a book by one of the ward members upon getting to the church. When he opened the cover, he saw that that book had been signed by HIM when he was a Deacon. He told about growing up with the church when the ward was so small that it met in his house. He talked about the day his bishop had all the Deacons sign this particular book. He explained how four years later, when he was First Assistant to the Bishop, his Bishop had taken him on a visit to one of the less active members houses. He'd been surprised and a bit shocked at the gruff way his Bishop talked to this single sister. But after they'd left the house the Bishop opened his scriptures and taught that 'tough love' is sometimes the only way. The Bishop said that this lady was living in filth and poverty for no reason. She had the means and a way, but had given up. But the Bishop knew her potential and knew that if she'd turn her life around, she'd help many others. Brother Eyring then got very emotional as he went on to say, 'how could the Lord have known, back when I was a Deacon signing this book, that one day I'd walk into the Centerville 7th ward and have the book be handed back to me? How could the Lord have known as a shy 16 year old, assistant to the Bishop, that by going out on that visit that day, I would learn how to care for the poor and the needy. How could he know that 50 years later, I would be called to the First Counsellor in the Church, presiding over the care of the poor and the needy? I'll tell you how. Because the Lord knows each of us. He knows our needs, our wants, our desires. He knows our sorrows and our heartache and our trials. He knows our beginning and He knows our ending. He knew mine, and He knows yours.' He then finished by bearing his testimony of the gospel and by promising us that if we would only be obedient to the commandments of the Lord, we would know happiness beyond all comprehension. It was amazing. It was another testament to me that the Lord calls and qualifies his servants. And his words hit me so strongly. I know that the Lord knows me. He knows everything I've gone through, and all that I continue to struggle with. He knows where I'm going and how I'll get there. And He is there to hold my hand, every step of the way. Thank you Elder Eyring for reminding me. The church is true, and I love it with all my heart.

A Soccer Girl, Mini-Mine, and There's Only ONE Lagoon!

So look...I've gotten a bit behind on the whole 'blogging' deal. I have so many pictures that need to be shown, and so little time to get them ready. I know, I know...whah, whah, whah. Anyway, I've grouped the last of our 'summer' pictures here so now I'm only 6 months behind...But, it's like I always say, 'good things come to those who wait!' And it doesn't get 'gooder' than this!

I have NO IDEA where the fascination with soccer came from. But, Iz was bound and determined this year that she would be playing the sport (if you can call soccer a sport...) I had my reservations, but figured, at the very least, she'd be getting good exercise, right? I truly have nothing against soccer, it's just that my family has had long standing tradition of 'knocking' soccer players, so the idea of my daughter playing the sport took some getting used to. However, after her first game, I was sold. She pranced and flitted around the field for the first few games, having absolutely no concept of what she was doing. But gradually she started 'getting it.' She'd maneuver her way into a play, or actually steal the ball! And then there was game 5 when my baby made a break-a-way move and scored her very first goal. Her victory dance was priceless! She talked about that goal for days. Something that makes her that happy is worth keeping around. So, I guess we're soccer fans now...

We went to Swiss Days this year and came across a booth that sold onesie church shirts and matching daddy/son ties. They. Were. Adorable. We couldn't pass them up! Of course we settled on yellow...daddy's favorite color. That Sunday, Daddy and Jace dressed to impress and they were so darn cute we just had to snap some pics. Just look at my two handsome boys!

The summer days ended with a family trip to Lagoon! Izzy had been to Lagoon before, but this was Jace's first experience with the rides...and he LOVED it as much as his sister. Aside from me freaking a bit about the germs on each ride and insisting on wiping the kids down every 13 seconds, everything else was just peachy. The weather was beautiful, the lines weren't 'too' long, and the kids lasted for the few hours we were there. The only problem Izzy had with the whole excursion was that she was not quite tall enough to ride the White Rollercoaster with her dad...oh well...maybe next year?

The Pre and Post Show

Here we have the fashion show at Grandma Lisa's (the Pre-Show) and the first day of school (the Post Show). Izzy talked about 'mobeling' her clothes MONTHS before school was actually set to start. We started collecting new clothes at the first of the summer, and having to wait until fall to show everyone was like torture for my poor child! What can I say? She's a ham....takes after her dad. She loves the limelight. We love her!

Here are a few of the new school outfits that Izzy 'mobeled' for everyone prior to starting preschool. This is an annual tradition for us now, and Izzy has quite the following. She LOVES the attention...in case you couldn't tell:)

And here we are...posing for the first day of school pictures. It's gotten to the point where Iz has mastered all the standard poses. Now, she tells ME how she'll stand for me to take her picture. What can I say, she loves the camera, and the camera loves her! She also LOVES her preschool. Mrs Addie is a dream. The class is small and Izzy is getting a lot of one on one attention. She's even started reading! I love the things she comes home and tells me about what she's learning. She's growing up too fast. I tell her everyday that she has to stay my baby forever. She replies, "We'll just see about that;)"

From The Mouth Of Babes

I. Don't. Feel. Good. It seems like for the better part of 10 months now, these have been my most frequently spoken words. Though I try not to express them as often as I'd like, I am more than sure that my family tires of hearing them. Problem is, no one truly understands what I feel like but me. Others try. Others empathize. But no one, no one but HIM, truly gets it. And so I stumble through the days and weeks, hoping and praying, smiling and crying, pleading and wondering, when the pain will stop.

Through all of this, I have missed out on a lot of living. I find that I'm not nearly as interested in some of the things I used to be. Social situations are a living nightmare. Light and noise are dulled by ear plugs and dimmers. I try not to get discouraged. I really do. I know that I've let myself slip in many areas. I find my lack of motivation startling at best. My reliance on my Heavenly Father is great. Without him, the reality of falling asleep and never again opening my eyes becomes all too real. But I am weak. And though I beg and plead for answers and help, I often fall short when it comes to doing the simple things He's asked of me. Church. Three hours. Once a week. Not a lot to ask. But on Sunday's I'm so tired. Scott is finally home and I can lay down and rest. And that is all I want to do. Some Sundays the pain truly is too bad for me to go anywhere. Some Sundays I could try a little harder, push through the hurt, and make a better effort. Some Sundays, I just don't care anymore.

Today has been a hard day. This week has been hard. My headaches have been constant, crippling at times, running one into the next. Last night while helping Scott prepare his lesson, I insisted on working in the dark. The light hurts my eyes. How fitting that this weeks Sunday School lesson should be on Job. Job, who was handed one trial after another. Job, who suffered more than any one man should ever be asked to suffer. Job, who never faltered, never waivered , never lost sight of Him, his Savior. It is a remarkable story. And one that leaves me feeling a bit weak and ashamed of myself. Nevertheless, I too know that my Redeemer Liveth. I know without a shadow of a doubt. And I'll never deny that fact.

By eleven today, my headache had pretty much reached it's potential. I'd been walking around turning lights off, and had yet to remove my ear plugs. I was not going to church. When Jace went down, I was going to sleep too. In sleep, I feel no pain. My mom called, asking about my preference in rice for dinner this evening. She really called to see if I was going to church. I know she worries about my attendance. I told her I'd try. I lied. Not even Mom's guilt got to me today. Hurting too much.

As Scott was leaving, he bent over to kiss me goodbye. He didn't offer to find a substitute for me...someone to lead the music. The air was thick and silent between us. My husband, my lover, my friend; the one who understands my pain more than anyone else; who has seen me suffer; he knows I'm sick, he knows I hurt, and still, I can see the pleading in his eyes, "Please try Brianne." When I don't say anything, he tells me he'll find someone to lead. Just like that. No judgement, no criticism, only love and devotion. I should have told him 'no'. I should have said I'd pull myself together and go. But I didn't.

Finally, Izzy comes in to kiss me goodbye. She is a mere 3 inches from my face, stroking it lovingly with her hand. I love her more than life itself. She is my perfect creation. And just as I think she's about to leave, she stops. What she said, I'll never forget. "Mom. You know what would make you feel better? Just getting up and coming to church. If you don't lead the music, everyone will wonder, 'where is Brianne?' I know you hurt mom. I know your head hurts a lot. But if you come to church, Heavenly Father will make it better. He will help you mom. Mom, you should come." What could I say? How could I possibly tell that angel of mine 'no'? Deny my mother? Easy. Deny my husband? Done. Deny my baby girl? My pure, without fault, child of God? Never. In that moment I knew, I knew that my Heavenly Father was using Isabelle as a mouthpiece to speak His will. I saw it. I felt it. And I knew it. What could I do but wordlessly shake my head 'yes'.

And so I am going to get ready for church. I'll put on the minimal amount of makeup, clip my hair up, leave my earplugs in, and make my way to the meeting house. Because Isabelle told me that my Heavenly Father would help me. And I believe her.

Birthday Pics

Here are the latest pictures of Jace and Izzy. Target did a really great job at capturing their little, or big rather, personalities! I know I may be a bit biased, but I think they're the cutest kids on the planet!

Ah, little Bones...well, not really so little:) He's my bigger boy! All grown up and one years old;( He's such a fun baby and his generally always happy. However, he was a bit leery of the photographer at first. Luckily, he warmed up and gave her some of the ole Wetsel charm. His signature look is the tongue out pose along with the scrunched up nose, mouth open, pose! We sure love you Bones!

Here are Izzy's 4 year old pictures. Yes, I know she's really almost 4 1/2, but hey, better late than never! She had so many compliments on her shoes! Gymboree really came through with the dress and shoes. I made her fun hairbow to match. She's such a ham...and she LOVES the camera. Can you tell? Love you baby doll!